I feel like I have not embarrassed myself on the blog for a while, so thinking I need to fix that! Dating… should do it.
One of the reasons I decided to leave LA is due to my mid 30, brunette locks and real small-ish boobs are not quite what the males fancy in Lala. To put it blunt I don’t look like barbie and I am not twenty. Now what I lack in cup, I make up in personality, but who can get a word in edge wise when two double d’s have hypnotized the guy?
So I packed up and headed to Texas where single men are free range and grass fed. Right?
After settling into my new digs and started to familiarize myself with the locals, I started to realize I had a whole different set of issues. Marriage!! In LA all my friends are single and the few who took the plunge do not have kids. We have dogs!!
All my new TX friends are married and I mean… ALL of them!! As much as I was confused by them, they were confused by the single me.
Here are a couple observations between married species and single species:
1. Married women are far nicer to single woman than single female vs single female. They are loving and extremely encouraging to put a ring on it.
2. Married women love to set-up single girls. For them it is more about the set-up than an actual personality match. Again goal put a ring on it.
3. Married women love to ask age and then promptly.. Are you married? Kids? When I reply no. A sound of sadness is quickly followed. I think they assume I live on a hill with multiple cats.
I have always been a career girl. Again one of the reasons I left LA, less career more life. Enter online dating. According to everyone, they know a thousand people who met online and are happily in relationships and married just last month. With those odds, I don’t know why I had waited so long to join and be happy!! According to the ads 1 out of 5 relationships start online, I guess they never said 1 and 5 are happy relationships.
So the timeline has to be simple. 1. Sign up. 2. Go on a handful of dates. 3. Change facebook status to “in a relationship”
Well that is not quite how it has worked out.
1. I did sign up…. as a matter of fact for two sites. Better odds!!
2. Go on a handful of dates. Well that part is true, I have only been on a handful of dates. 3 to be exact.
Guy #1 was 20 years older than the photo. Like I was not going to notice!!
Guy #2 Sweet as he may have been. Having a job is kind of important in your late 30’s. No go!!
Guy #3 Awesome… but when I was ordered glass of wine #2 he was ordering whiskey #5. Yikes.
I know the saying.. you go to kiss some frogs to find your prince, but frogs don’t email. Whew… Let’s just say online dating is also a place for just hooking up. Usually these emails come in at 3 am, so that is always a great way to start my day!! Ha ha.
3. Change relationship status… not yet, but will keep you posted!
Here is an amazing dish for whatever relationship status you are sporting!!
Take a can of butter beans, 2 cloves of fresh garlic and 1 cup of mushrooms and sauté in a skillet with olive oil.
Throw everything in a food processor and add 1/4 cup of Happy Hemp.
Put lid on and turn on. Pour a steady steam of olive oil into the mix until the mixture turns into a think puree.
Scoop the mixture in a bowl. Serve with crackers and side salad.